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Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu Wiki

[1] [2][3] Me and the Pool and the Swimsuit Wonderland

After the event last weekend 'Yuuji and Kirishima-san's wedding plan' ended safely, it's another weekend night. My bad friend Yuuji came over to my house to play and stay overnight at my house.

"Eh? What did you buy, Yuuji?"

"Of course it's food. You don't have anything to eat here."

Yuuji said as he puts the plastic bag in his hand down onto the table.

"Heh~you're rather thoughtful to actually think of bringing a gift over."

I open the plastic bag, and there's a lot of food and drinks inside.


-Iced coffee

-Cup noodles

-Instant fried noodles packet

There are two servings of food and drinks. I'm so grateful for that.

"Oh yeah, what will you take, Yuuji?"

I asked Yuuji, who's taking his coat off.

As for what to choose, of course, I'm talking about food and drinks. I'm OK with cola or coffee, and I'm also fine with eating instant or fried noodles. Actually, I'm happy just to eat anything. But since Yuuji bought these things, I should let him choose.

"Me? Well, I'll take..."

Yuuji should be taking the fried noodels and cola, right? Even if I don't ask, I can guess what this guy likes to eat.

"--The cola and the coffee and the instant noodles and the fried noodles."



Yuuji immediately stopped me.

"Besides, if I don't have any disposable chopsticks, don't I have to eat with my bare hands?"

It's really hard to imagine Yuuji eating instant noodles with his thumb and index fingers while shouting 'HOT, HOT!'.

"Forget about getting my chopsticks, I got your share as well."

"Eh? Really?"

"Yeah. Don't you see the other bag over there? The food inside is for you."

Now that he said that, I just noticed it. I didn't notice because the first bag was blocking, but on a closer look, there is another bag there.

"What, so you actually prepared my share."

"Ya, because I caused you to spend so much effort last week, so this is just a little token of appreciation."

"Hmm, now that you mentioned it, my hard work has somewhat paid off."

I pick up the bag that's pressed because and open it, there's food and drinks inside as well.

'Fruit jelly'

'Diet coke'



Seeing the food that don't contain any calories, I couldn't help but cry.

"Don't worry, this is just my little token of appreciation."


I pull my diet coke out and get ready to fire.


Yuuji reaches into his plastic bag and pulls out his can of coke.

The evil atmosphere flows between us.

"...So Yuuji, you're ready to go at it?"

"Ya, besides, I think there's a need to have a showdown between us."

"Just what I want. I'll make you regret doing such a stupid thing as to challenge me!"

"Ha! You're all talk!"

We glare at each other as we get ready to move. The opponent's Yuuji, I'll die if I'm not careful.

In an instantaneous moment, the sound of water droplets dripping can be heard throughout the kitchen.



With the drip of water as the signal, the situation went from a silent stare down contest to a fierce battle. Both of us took action at the same time. If so, the winner will be decided on the next action—PAAAZZZZZZZZ! (The sound of Yuuji and me shaking our bottles.)

GGYYYYYAAAAHHHHH!!! (The sound of cola being fired at each other.)

PATAPATAPATAPATAPATAPATA!!! (The sound of Yuuji and me covering our eyes and rolling on the floor.)


It went in! The cola just went into my eyes!

"Not bad, Akihisa!"

"You're not too bad yourself, Yuuji! As expected for the guy I see as a tough opponent!"

"But I'm going to get serious from now on!"

"I won't lose to you as well!"

Thus, Yuuji starts to grab the can of coffee, and I arm myself with the jelly to bet on this battle of pride.

--Please hold on a minute--

"...Yuuji, want to call a ceasefire?"

"...Ya, this is getting too meaningless."

Before we realised it, we're all stained with fruit jelly, jelly and cola. It sure is disgusting.

"Akihisa, lend me your shower."

"Hm, you can use the towel."

"I'll do that even without you telling me that."

After saying that, Yuuji seems irritated as he pulls the completely drenched clothing on his body as he walks towards the changing room. I then hear him taking off his clothes casually,

"Ah, Yuuji, I forgot to tell you something."


Yuuji's voice can be heard from behind the bathroom door, and soon, there's the sound of the water tap being turned on.

"My gas got cut off, so there's no hot water now."


Clrack! Tatatatata!

"...You could have told me that, you big idiot!"

Wrapped up in a towel, Yuuji's having goosebumps due to the cold.

"Sorry sorry, I forgot to say it. Also, it's not good for your body to put cold water on your heart. You have to first let it drop onto you feet--"


"Why are you so angry, Yuuji? Oh yeah, you should take a cold shower to cool yourself off."


"Uu~ Hm...even if you say that, it can't change the fact that my house doesn't have any hot water..."

Even if I have money for it, I have to contact the gas supplier to provide me with some. Now that it's so late, the company workers shouldn't be working now. No matter how urgent we are, we have to wait till tomorrow, and there doesn't seem to be any public baths near my house. It may be a bit too strange to run over to somebody else's house just to bath.

"Sigh...can't be helped. Akihisa, get ready to go out."

Just as I'm wondering what to do, Yuuji, who changed back into his clothes, suddenly said that to me.

"Going out? Ah, I see, are we going to Yuuji's house?"

"I don't mind, but since we're going to bath, how about we go to someplace that has a bathroom and a swimming pool?"

"A place that has a swimming pool as well?"

Was he talking about a resort somewhere slightly far away from here?

But if we're going to leave now, it'll take some time before we reach there.

"That's right, it has a bathroom and a swimming pool, it's close to your house, and it's free--isn't there such a great place?"

A bathroom and a swimming pool, close to my house and free—ahh, I see.

"OK, I'll get prepared. What about your swimsuit, Yuuji?"

"I'll just wearing my boxers, they aren't any different from my swimming trunks."

"Got it~"

I immediately get ready and head towards Fumitzuki Gakuen with Yuuji.

"...So, do you have anything to say?"

Two hours later, Yuuji and I are standing in the office of Fumitzuki Gakuen, as we continue to have the lecture from Ironman—also known as Nishimura-sensei.

""It's that guy's fault.""

Our voices overlap each other perfectly, and even the pointing of fingers is completely the same.

"What the heck! Yuuji's definitely in the wrong here! If you had brought some gifts along, this wouldn't have happened!"

"What nonsense are you saying now? If you had paid your gas bills properly, none of this would have happened!"

"What are you saying now? Isn't it good enough that you have water to shower?"

"Don't tell me you have times when the water doesn't come out?"

"...That's enough, I understand what's going on."

Ironman sighs deeply.

"You understood? That's great."

"Since you understood, we should be leaving now. It's kinda late now."

"Yup. Well, we'll be moving off then, Nishimura-sensei--WOAH!!"

Just when I bowed and prepare to walk out of the office, Ironman's burly arms suddenly drapes around Yuuji and my neck. We, we can't breathe!

"You two, no need to be in such a rush, right? It's never too late to have that obligatory moment first, right?"

The strong force grabs our necks. If we try to resist anyhow, our necks will break!

"That, that's right...then please...allow me..."

"Me, me too, allow me to..."

Our self-defense instincts kicked in, and we can only accept this proposal in tears.

"Very good, then let's begin."

After releasing us, Ironman pulls out paper and pens from somewhere and passes them to us.

"Listen up, translate the following into English 'I reflect on having used the pool without authorization'."

I followed what Ironman said and translate the Japanese into English. Hansei suru (反省する) should be translated into 'reflect on'.

"...After writing so many reflection letters,you finally managed to come up with the words 'reflect on'."

"That's because I had to write it twice every week..."

"If you don't want to write it, correct your mistakes--okay, after you're done, show me what you wrote."


I hand over the piece of white paper with English words on it to Ironman. Ironman reads what I wrote—and for some reason, sighed.

"Eh? Why are you sighing?"

That's strange, the English I wrote should be perfect.

"Sakamoto, read this."

Ironman hands over what I translated to Yuuji. After Yuuji receives it, he starts to read what I wrote.

"I reflect on having used the poor without owner's permission."

It was what Yuuji has said, there shouldn't be any problems, right?

"Translate that."

"'I reflect on having made used of the poor without authorization'."


"Eh, that, that's strange? Why did it become like that?"


Damn it, that was the only part I thought up myself.

"Okay, next. 'For my reflection, I will voluntarily clean up the pool next week'."

"Is that so? Then it's tough on you. Please do your best."


" devilish teacher..."

Using your fist to hit me? That damned violent teacher!

"Damn it. We're really unlucky that Ironman found us out."


Thus, until daylight, Yuuji and I were forced to have fist-involved remedial lessons.

"Because of that, my weekend got burned."

Morning morning, before self-study period starts, the same old gang gathers around the desk as I said that.

"Such a thing actually happened. What a disaster..."

Revealing a gentle expression as he worries for me is my classmate, Kinoshita Hideyoshi. Anyone who sees him will definitely think that he's a beauty, but biologically, he's a male; truly an unfathomable friend.

"And we're punished to clean up the swimming pool this weekend. Sigh..."

We took so many punches and wrote so many English reflections, and now he wants me to clean the swimming pool. This is totally ridiculous. That Ironman's definitely a devil on the inside and the outside.

"..That's overwork."

Beside us, Tsuchiya Kouta (a.k.a. Muttsulini) said calmly,

"Ya, I'm already feeling tired when I think about having to clean up such a large place."

If there were some sort of reward...

Seemingly understanding what I'm thinking, Yuuji then says,

"It isn't much of a reward, but Ironman did say 'since you have to clean up, the pool will be available to you on that day'."

"Eh? Really?"

So this means that the school pool this weekend will be open for us to use?

"Ya, so Hideyoshi, Muttsulini, you guys want to come along?"

Since we already got the place, it'll be a waste if only Yuuji and me are the ones using it. It's pointless to have it if we can't get some more people. Besides, it's boring to have 2 people alone, and I really hope that Hideyoshi and Muttsulini will come along.

Just as Muttsulini prepares to raise his hand—

"But Muttsulini, you have to help out with the cleaning."


On hearing Yuuji's words, Muttsulini stopped what he's about to do.

Like what Muttsulini said just now, cleaning the pool is a seriously tough job. It can't be helped that he would hesitate.

"On a side note, I intend to ask Himeji and Shimada to come along."

"...I'll prepare the brushes and cleaning agents."

It is normal that he would agree so easily; if I can get to see Himeji-san, Minami and Hideyoshi in swimsuits, I'll do anything just for that one chance.

"Um, that's right. If we didn't get this chance to use the pool, it'll be unlikely that we'll have this once in a lifetime chance. Please allow me to join in. Of course, I'll help out as well."

"Eh? Cleaning the pool is tough? Are you sure that you're willing to do so?"

"Um, unlike getting the whole pool, I just need to clean the pool, so this is nothing."

Hideyoshi agreed heartily..actually, I'm fine with just seeing him in a swimsuit, so there's no need for him to help out. He's really a good guy.

"So there's only two left. OI~ HIMEJI, SHIMADA."

Yuuji shouted out their names.

"What's up, Sakamoto? Anything you want me for?"

The one who walks over first is the girl who recently returned from Germany. Shimada Minami-san.

Her unique characteristics are her slanted eyes and her ponytail. She's a very forceful girl, and there were a few times when I nearly died in her hands.

"Did you call me, Sakamoto-kun?"

Walking over next is our class air freshener, Himeji Mizuki-san. Gentle and cute, outstanding grades, and even her figure's excellent. She's a girl who can't be nitpicked about, and with all these attributes, she's really scary. No, hold on, Minami's not too far behind...

"Are you free this weekend? We got the school pool this weekend, want to come along?"


On hearing the word 'pool', both of them seem stunned. Is there anything wrong with the pool?

"Ah, so you girls obviously have some other plans, right?"

If possible, I really want them to come along, but I can't just force them to cancel their schedules. They should put their own schedules before anything else.

"It, it's not that. I don't really have anything. But...what should I do? If I have to go to a pool, I have to wear a swimsuit, right?"

"That, that's right, got to wear a swimsuit...but my..."

Minami stares at her chest, and Himeji-san stares at her abdomen.

What in the world are they worrying about?

"Sigh, I know that you girls have your own troubles...but let me tell you first. Hideyoshi will be coming along, and he said that he wants to show Akihisa how he looks in a swimsuit."

Seeing them hesitate, Yuuji suddenly said such a ridiculous thing. It's true that Hideyoshi will come alone, but he's not going to just show me how he looks in a swimsuit.

But after hearing what Yuuji said, Minami and Himeji-san turn to glare at Hideyoshi.

"That, that's too despicable, Kinoshita! You're doing that when you're so confident in your own figure!"

"That, that's right! Kinoshita-kun's too sneaky!"

"What are you two talking about?"

Hideyoshi gives a puzzled look after being blamed by them. I don't understand it myself—why are they saying that Hideyoshi's despicable?

"So, how is it?"

"I, I'll go! I, I just need to make preparations..."

"That, that's right. Preparations are important."

Though both of them reveal a complicated look, at least they agreed. That's great.

"Speaking of which, I should start buying a new swimwear. How about I use this chance to get one..."

Hideyoshi strokes his chin as he said this. Hideyoshi's buying a swimsuit? Now I'm excited.

"The, then I'll buy one as well..."

Maybe because of Hideyoshi, Minami seems like she intends to buy a new swimsuit.

Sure is nice to have money...unlike me with my gas cut off...

"Eh? But Minami, didn't you say 'I'm not buying one since I got one last year' when we were talking about buying swimsuits...?"

"Mi, Mizuki! Don't say such a thing! This, this time, what I want to buy is...that's right, it's a duel, so that's different."

"Shimada, the more nervous you get, the more you're digging your own grave."

"...You're thinking too much."

I don't understand what they're talking about. She meant a swimming match, right? To be actually serious in having a swimming contest, does Minami really enjoy swimming that much?

"Ah, oh ya! Yuuji, get Kirishima-san to come over."

"I'll do that even without you telling me that."

Yuuji looks reluctant as he gives me an intriguing look. That's strange? How did it end up like this? I thought Yuuji wouldn't even tell Kirishima-san about this. Did he become honest after the wedding event last week?

"Haha, so Yuuji finally matured."

No, that's not the problem."

Then what is it?"

"Akihisa, think about it. Try putting yourself in my shoes. If I don't tell her, when Shouko finds out, what will happen to me?"

Seeing Yuuji look so seriously, I start to think seriously.

Let me think, if I'm Yuuji, and if Kirishima-san knew that I was playing with girls in swimsuits at the pool...

"Deep into a, buried at the bottom of a lake..."

"You don't have to imagine me being a corpse, but anyway, that's the case."

I see. Because of this, Yuuji would reluctantly invite Kirishima-san. But if so, I can see Kirishima-san in a swimsuit. That can be considered a dream come true.

"Anyway, seems like everyone's okay with the arrangements. Let's meet at 10 am on Saturday at the school gate. Don't forget to bring your swimsuits and towels along."

Just as Yuuji said this, the loud bang of Ironman opening the classroom door can be heard.

"Morning~ this weather today sure is great for swimming."

It's the weekend, and under the clear blue cloudless sky, I raise my hand and say hello to Hideyoshi and Himeji-san, who are already waiting at the school gate.

"Morning Akihisa. The weather sure is great today."

"Good morning, Akihisa-kun. Seems like we can enjoy ourselves today."

Both of them respond with bright smiles. Just the fact that I can meet them during a holiday is enough to send me into lala-land. However, to top it all, I can see them in swimsuits! It's not an exaggeration to call it heaven!

Just as I raise my fist triumphantly, another figure approaches. Is that Muttsulini? He heard us, right?

"Morning, Muttsulini~"

"...! (Krack krack krack)"

At this moment, Muttsulini shows a 'don't come near me look' as he holds a camera in his hands.

"Well, I say~ Muttsulini..."

"...I'm busy now."

Muttsulini merely said a few words, as if it's irritating to look at me for the slightest moment.

It's not that I don't understand his feelings, but—

"Muttsulini, it's good to prepare, but wouldn't you be doing that in vain?"


"Isn't that obvious? Muttsulini...will be unconscious due to nosebleeding."

Cheongsams were already enough to let him drown in the sea of his own nosebleed. If he sees the revealing swimming outfits, Muttsulini definitely won't be able to maintain consciousness.

But after hearing what I said, Muttsulini merely shrugs his shoulders.

"...If you're going to belittle me like that, I'll be really bothered."

At the same time, Muttsulini opens the huge sports bag he brought and shows me what's inside.

"...All the blood transfusion processes are complete."

"Hm, so you intend to take measures to prevent blood loss? That's quite manly."

The sports bag is jammed full with blood packets. I don't know how he got them, but if so, there should be no need to call an ambulance. Seems like he's completely prepared for this.

"Speaking of which, Hideyoshi, didn't you say that you want to bring a new swimsuit? You didn't forget, right?"

"Nn, of course I did bring it."

Hideyoshi prouds straightens himself and opens his bag. That's great. It'll be too pitiful if he can't swim because he forgot to bring his swimwear.

"Speaking of which, what I got is—"

"...! (widen eyes)"

Hideyoshi's declaration that makes people's hearts flutter causes Muttsulini to widen his eyes. Of course, I'm interested as well. What did Hideyoshi buy?

"—Squared swimming trunks!"


Muttsulini and I collapse onto the floor. Squared swimming trunks? Something that guys wear? God, why did you give us such a trial!? Wouldn't Hideyoshi wearing guy's trunks ruin everything!?

"Because you guys seem to view me as a girl, I thought I should let you guys see that I'm a guy—why aren't you guys listening to me?"


"...I was wrong about you!"

"Wha, what's wrong? Why must I be scolded by you?"

"I, I guess you shouldn't mind too much, Kinoshita-kun."

Damn it! I thought that only Hideyoshi won't betray me!

Just as I'm thinking of ways to get other swimwear for Hideyoshi to wear—


"Good morning, baka onii-chan!"


Moments after I head the footsteps behind me, something seemed to jump on me. What's going on?

"Hazuki, really! That'll scare Aki!"

Soon after, there's another familiar voice.

Since that's Minami's voice, the one on my back is—

"So it's Hazuki-chan. Good morning to you."

"Heh heh heh, it's been two weeks since we last met."

The one on my back completely displays the attributes of 'childish and innocent' as she shows me a radiant smile is Minami's little sister—Shimada Hazuki. I remember she should be in 5th grade, right? We haven't met since the summoning tournament, and like what Hazuki said, it's been two weeks.

"Baka onii-chan's so cold. Why didn't you ask Hazuki to come along? That's too much!"

"Ah, mm, sorry, Hazuki-chan."

But if I told you that, your sister will dice me up.

"Hazuki found me out when I was about to go out, and she wanted to come along, so I had no choice..."

Minami sighed. I see, so that's why she's late.

"Eh? Sakamoto's not here? I thought I would be the last one."

"No, Sakamoto-kun already arrived. He went to the staff room to borrow the keys—ah, seems like he's here."

Speak of the devil. Just when Himeji-san was mentioning where Yuuji went, we can see him and Kirishima-san walking over from the school compound.

"Morning Yuuji, and good morning, Kirishima-san."

"Oh, seems like you weren't late."

"...Good morning."

Yuuji revealed his arrogant nature the moment he spoke up, and the beautiful girl who's silently standing beside him as she greets us is Kirishima-san, Yuuji's childhood friend. She's not just a beauty, she's also the valedictorian of our second year in Fumitzuki Gakuen. It's said that she's pretty athletic, so there doesn't seem to be any weaknesses—but the sad part is that she doesn't have the eyes in choosing a guy. Besides, there's nothing that can be said about her choosing Yuuji.

"Hello, onii-chan!"

Seeing Yuuji's rough appearance, Hazuki-chan isn't scared at all as she said hello to him energetically.

"Hm? The pipsqueak's here."

"I'm not a pipsqueak, my name's Hazuki!"

"Ah, sorry sorry. So you came along, Hazuki."


Yuuji looks rather happy as he pats Hazuki on the head. Don't let him fool you, Yuuji really like kids, so he must be happy when he saw Hazuki.

"Okay, it's time to change. I handed the girls changing room key to Shouko, and you girls go follow her. Once we're done, gather at the poolside."

With Yuuji ordering, we split up into boys and girls. Himeji-san and Minami follow Kirishima-san; me and Muttsulini and Hazuki and Hideyoshi are following Yuuji—eh, that's not right.

"Really, Hazuki and Hideyoshi should go to the girls' bathing room. Why aren't you following Kirishima-san?"

I continue to nudge Hazuki and Hideyoshi who're behind us. In this moment, guys should be thinking of going into the girls' changing room, not the other way around.

"Hehehe, I'm just joking."

"But I'm not joking at all..."

If we're to change clothes, Muttsulini will end up returning to sender before he can even see everyone in swimwear. He himself may be satisfied with just that, but I can't just let my friend die like that.

"Oi, stop playing around, hurry up and get over here, Hazuki, Kinoshita."


Hideyoshi stubbornly refuses to go to the girl's changing room.

But even if he's not willing, it'll be bad if we're in the guy's changing room...

"Erm...if that's the case, why don't we let Kinoshita-kun change in another place?"

Himeji-san timidly raised her hand. As expected of Himeji-san, to be able to think of such a good idea. Now nobody will complain.

"U, ugh...I can't explain it, but I'll let this pass for now...I'll just make everyone change their mindsets once you people see me in a swimsuit..."

Hideyoshi muttered as he clenches forcefully on the bag with a swimsuit in it. Ugh~hm, squared matter what, I can't imagine Hideyoshi being compatible with that.

"Okay, since we decided, hurry up and take action, stop wasting time."

"Hm, you're right."

"...(Nods head)."

Thus we all head towards the changing rooms in 3 different directions.

—20 minutes later—

"The girls still haven't changed, huh?"

"Seems that way."

"...(Nods head)."

Having changed into our squared trunks, we're standing near the pool, waiting anxiously for the girls to come out. The feeling is just like that of a festival, I'm feeling really excited.

"Muttsulini, you ready? This concerns your own life!"

"...No problems, I already practised all 236 styles yesterday."

I really want to know what styles are there.

"...And I already identified 256 different styles of bleeding."

"Doesn't that mean that you're guaranteed a 100% chance of dying?"

Seems like Muttsulini's dead no matter what happens.

"Oh, seems like somebody's here."

Yuuji suddenly said. Turning back, a little figure is running towards us from the girl's changing room. That should be Hazuki-chan, right? Hmm, seeing an elementary school kid wear the deep blue swimsuit sure makes me—unable to smile at all!


"...I want my lawyer (drip drip drip)."

"I guys should calm down first. There's no need to get so excited over seeing an elementary school kid in a swimsuit."

Yuuji calmly retorted.

Is, is that right? It's true that she's an elementary school kid, but we have no need to be so embarrassed. Calm down, hurry up and calm down. Look at her calmly before continuing.

"Onii-chans~ I kept you waiting!"

I calmly look at Hazuki-chan who's running at us. The large words 'Shimada' is sewn on the chest of her swimsuit, but that ample chest that doesn't suit an elementary school kid causes the word to be out of shape. And the limbs that aren't covered by the swimsuits are exposed under the sun, looking really healthy and eye-catching. This gal has unlimited potential.

Hmm, I see. Like what Yuuji said, if I think about this calmly, this isn't nothing big.

"Just 2 years of probation after all."

"...I'll plead guilty even if I'm convicted (drip drip drp)"

"You two are only acting cool!"

But speaking of which, she doesn't look like Minami's little sister at all. That...what should I say, the part with the nametag on it and raised seems...

I hesitate on whether I should focus my eyes on that part that doesn't look like it fits an elementary school kid. At this moment, someone else comes running over from the girl's changing room.

"Dam, damn it, Hazuki! How can you take my thing away like that! Hurry up and return it to me!"

What appears in front of me is Minami, who for some reason is covering her chest with one hand. What's that?

"...Breasts pads."


I turn around to look at Muttsulini, who's muttering to himself, and sees Hazuki-chan's tummy inflate for some reason.

"Ah~ it dropped."

Hazuki-chan reaches into her swimsuit and starts to look for something, and the bump at the tummy slowly moves towards the chest. Ahh, I see, so she stuffed breast pads into her swimsuit. No wonder, I was wondering how come an elementary school kid's breasts are so big.

"Hm! If so, what Minami wants back is the brea—"



I seem to have found out something I shouldn't have found out.

"Uuu...I actually went all the way to prepare this...Hazuki, you big idiot."

Minami muttered bitterly. I can't really tell since she's using her hand to cover her chest, but Minami should be wearing a 2-piece swimsuit. She does look like a beach volleyball player, so cool...

"Wha, what? Is it weird that I'm wearing this?"

Minami seems like she doesn't want to let others see her in a swimsuit as she curls up. Why doesn't she have any confidence in herself?

"It, it's not that at all! Well...I find that it suits you a lot!"

"Eh...Aki, are you serious?"

"Um, yeah...your limbs, chest and breasts are all slender, and I find them pretty. Your toes are stepping on mine—OW OW OWWW!!!"

"Didn't you just call me flat-chested twice?"

Those prideful eyes of Minami are raised several inches as she glares angrily at me. But the swimsuit Minami's wearing is really cute. Her face is already cute, and her sheep-like limbs are enough to make up for the lack of chest ampleness. And since she's so charming, it's not logical to not call her cute when she's wearing such a swimsuit.

Though I say this, since it's Minami, I'll likely be sent into heaven if I say it, so it's best to follow the gold rule of 'silence is golden' and keep quiet about it so that I won't suffer.

"Shimada, you don't really have to be so angry. Though Akihisa says this, he definitely minds about your look in this swimsuit."

"Yu, Yuuji!? What are you saying!? I'm not..."

"Ah, is, is that so? Really, Aki, couldn't you be more honest about idiot."

Minami said that in a teeny-weeny voice. Really? Since you said so, I'll just honestly say what I wanted to say.

"Minami's chest is so small."

"I'll wreck your eyes, left and right, equally."

See? I'm about to be sent into heaven.

Just as we're admiring Minami and Hazuki-chan's swimsuits, the 3rd assassin walks over from the changing room.

The long black hair is swaying about as the person walks elegantly like a model. The body that's of high-class all around looks like she's unreal, causing me to almost forget to breathe. I stare at her every action—Kirishima Shouko-san really dazzles me.

She continues to look unperturbed as she reaches her hand out and pokes Yuuji's eyes.


"Woah! Even the act of poking Sakamoto in the eyes in so beautiful..."

"Hmm, to be able to see such a beautiful figure, it's worth sacrificing Yuuji's eyes..."


I don't care what the heck Yuuji's shouting as I still focus on Kirishima-san.

"Wah...onee-chan's so pretty..."

Kirishima-san's wearing a slightly more mature looking white bikini and short skirt. These alone wouldn't be much, but coupled with her perfect face, crystal clear skin and silky long hair, it's better to describe her as 'elegant' instead of 'pretty'. Anyway, she's full of charm.

"...I'm really happy to hear you say that..."

Kirishima-san lowers her blushing face. THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES!

"Oi, Yuuji, you should have something you want to say to Kirishima-san, right?"

Though Kirishima-san must be really happy to hear us praise her like that, she should be really mindful about that person she likes, right? We got to let Yuuji praise her somehow.

I reach my hand out and wordlessly push Yuuji from behind.



"Get me a tissue, my tears can't stop flowing for some reason."



This damned bastard doesn't understand a girl's feelings at all!

"Really, that Yuuji's useless, don't you say, Muttsulini?"

I turn to talk to Muttsulini, who's completely silent, probably because he's busy doing blood transfusion. However, Muttsulini didn't respond; instead, he's stoned in place as he stares at the other direction.

"Eh, what's wrong, Muttsulini?"

Stunned because he's surrounded by charming girls wearing swimsuits—this guy's response isn't normal at all. His response is too weird. What's going on?

"...Sorry, Akihisa."

Muttsulini lets out a hoarse and barely audible voice as he continues to mutter while trying his best to breath.

"Eh? Why?"


Muttsulini suddenly collapses with a large amount of bleeding.

"Mu, Muttsulini!? MUTTSULIN—"


I hurried over to carry Muttsulini, who collapsed onto the floor, and casually turn to look behind—

"So, sorry, it took me quite some time to tie the lace behind my back."

There stood a biological weapon.



I quickly stabbed my eyes. Secret technique –self-poke into eyes!

"A, Aki? What are you doing?"

That was I continued to look, I would most likely come close to death. The instant judgement saved me.

"Excuse me, but what's wrong with Akihisa-kun?"

"Ah, Mizuki, I don't really know what's going on, but Aki just stabbed himself in the eyes—"

All I can hear is that Minami seems to see something unbelievable as she gasped. Damn it! Did Minami follow Muttsulini's steps and collapsed?


"Worauf fur einem Standard hat Gott jene unterschieden, die haben, und jene, die nicht haben!? Was war fur mich ungenugend!"[1]

I thought that Minami already got used to Japan, but it seems like her old habit of lapsing into German when she's confused hasn't changed at all.

" least my vision's recovering—"

"...Yuuji, you can't look (kuoosh)."


"Wah, onee-chan's chest is so ample..."

With Yuuji's wail as the BGM, Hazuki-chan cried out in surprised. Even the normally stoic Kirishima-san's voice is trembling somewhat.

"Eve, everyone? What's wrong?"

The biological weapon herself doesn't seem to notice this as Himeji-san asks while looking puzzled.

"Hahaha, there's nothing wrong at all. Himeji-san, can you please wait a while?"

"Ah, okay..."

I repeatedly take a few deep breaths to allow myself to calm down. Okay, this will do.

After making my psychological preparations, I slowly widen my eyes. Hoho, if I can calm down and deal with it normally, a swimwear-clad Himeji-san isn't anything much.

"The weather today sure is great, Himeji-san! (GUAAHHH!!!)"

"Ah, Akihisa-kun? A lot of blood is spilling out of your nostrils!"


"Sorry, Himeji-san, please hold on for a while."

"Oh, Okay. I don't know what's going on, but I'll wait."

"Thanks. You really helped me out a lot here."

I then lift my nose up and empty my mind...that's right, I did see Himeji-san's tender white skin, and it was really—

"Thi, this isn't good! Akihisa-kun will die of blood loss!"

The blood flow increase. How did this happen?

"Are you alright, baka onii-chan?"

"Ah, mm, thanks Hazuki-chan."

That was a huge relief, Hazuki-chan passed me a piece of tissue. Now I can finally stop my nosebleed.

"Okay, again..."

For the third time, I stare at the swimwear-clad Himeji-san. My nose instantly became hot the moment her figure enters my eyes, but at least I finally managed to stop it.



I try to say something, but I could say anything.

Himeji-san figure enters my eyes, and that get-up of hers is too refreshing. She's wearing a pink bikini that reveals much of her large bust and a skirt on her waist. The normally pure and innocent looking Himeji-san has a 10 times 10 killing ability when she's in this swimwear now. Besides, that huge bust that doesn't match her petite body is really disastrous. I feel like I'm challenging a human's limits.

"I, is it strange for me to wear thi..."

Like Minami just now, Himeji-san curls herself up as she doesn't look very confident. Can't let this go on! I got to say something now!

"It, it's not strange at all! This swimwear fits you well!"


"Of course it's true! I can bet on a life!"

Actually, Muttsulini bet on his own life.

"This is hard work in limiting my food intake finally paid off..."

Worked hard to limit food intake? No way, she still has such quality! What will happen to me if she's serious?

"Mizuki, as expected, you're definitely my greatest better remember this!"

Having finally recovered, Minami glares at Himeji-san's breasts like an enemy. If she has even 1/5 of Himeji-san's own, Minami would be like an ordinary person.

"Ugh...I still can't everyone here?"

Rubbing his still-closed eyes in pain, Yuuji's still tearing as he asked us.

"Hideyoshi's not here yet."

"Hideyoshi had to go to the campus instead of the changing rooms, so he had to spend a longer time."

"...Hideyoshi's wearing squared trunks..."

Finally managing to recover and replenish his blood, Muttsulini said with a somewhat lonely voice. Ya, I understand how unhappy he is. Hideyoshi looks so cute, so he should wear a swimsuit that suits him!"

"Baka onii-chan, why do you look so sad?"

Hazuki-chan looks worried as she asks me. She's really a good kid...

"Sorry for making you worried, Hazuki-chan. I'm just feeling a little lonely, you don't have to worry about it."

"Hazuki, it's stupid to worry about Aki, you don't have to—"

Speaking halfway, Minami's suddenly speechless. What happened?

"Sorry for making everyone wait, took me quite some time to change, and there's quite the distance from the building to the pool..."

A familiar voice rings in my ears.

This voice and tone, Hideyoshi's finally here, so everyone's—

"sncfksurjkmxaoe,m(((Don't worry Hideyoshi, we weren't waiting for too long)"

"Calm down, Akihisa, this is planet Earth."

Yuuji calmly retorted just as I'm all panicky now. But this is because he can't see anything now. Can he say that so calmly when he sees what's in front of him?

"How, how is it? Don't I look more manly now?"

Looking shy but trying to display the swimsuit, Hideyoshi came walking towards us.

"Wah, this onee-chan's so pretty!"

"Ugh, you're calling me pretty? Shimada imouto, I don't know what's wrong with you, but as you can see, I'm a guy!"

"Eh? But Hazuki feels that this is a girl's swimwear."


That's right, Hideyoshi's wearing a squared trunks swimsuit—but that's a girl's swimwear.

"Ki, long do you plan on obstructing us?"

"Kinoshita-kun's too despicable...actually using squared trunks to make us relax. You betrayed us in the end!" [4][5] Basically, Hideyoshi's wearing a sports swimwear that's similar to what Minami's wearing. The top's a short sleeveless tight vest, and the bottom's an ordinary pair of trunks. There's a pair of shorts added outside the swimming trunks, and the top button is unbuttoned. This is a squared trunks, though it's a girl's swimwear.

"Hideyoshi! You finally detected our feelings!"

"...I will salute this swimwear as payment for our everlasting friendship and lust."

"It, it's not like that! I should have gotten a guy's swimwear! I even told the shop attendant that I wanted to buy 'an ordinary pair of squared trunks'!"

"I guess that attendant must have been mistaken..because Kinoshita-kun only said that he wants 'squared trunks'."

"...Ya, I would have recommended the same thing."

"How, how did it end up like wonder I felt that it's strange; why would guy's swimsuit have a vest on top..."

Hideyoshi collapsed onto the floor and clenches his fist and teeth as he said this. Even at this moment, I can only find it weird, it does fit Hideyoshi's personality after all. To the shop attendant we never met before, Good Job!

Just as we're discussing this, Kirishima-san looks worried as she says to Yuuji,

"...Yuuji, are your eyes alright?"

"Hm? Ahh, they're alright. I can see more or less. If you are worried about that, you shouldn't have done that right from the beginning, right—"

"...If so, here's another one (phoosh)"


"...There're too many things here that Yuuji can't see."

We're already at the pool, but the way things are going, Yuuji will end up in the hospital before he can even step foot into the water.

"Well, Akihisa-kun..."

After doing our warm-ups and jumping into the pool, Himeji-san, who slowly climbed down the ladder heads towards me.

"Hm? What's the matter, Himeji-san?"

"Can Akihisa-kun swim well?"

"Ah, hm...okay, about an ordinary person's standard..."

"...Akihisa-kun, why are you turning your eyes away?"

Because you just took off your skirt, Himeji-san!

"Actually, I don't know how to swim at all."

"Eh? You can't swim?"

In a certain sense, this is actually about what I expected. Though it's sorry to Himeji-san, I can't imagine her swimming quickly and freely at all.

"Hm? Mizuki can't swim?"

Minami said this as she energetically jumped into to pool. Minami and Himeji-san have their own contrasts, so they have things that they can do well. Forget about running or high jump, she's really skilled in sports.

"Yeah. Actually, it's kind of embarrassing for me to say it, but I only know how to float..."

Himeji-san said seriously. Even if she can't swim, she must be trying hard to learn it.

"Since Mizuki's been teaching me in studies, I'll teach you how to swim today!"

Minami straightens her back up as she seems somewhat satisfied. Normally, Himeji-san would be teaching her about studies, so she should be rather happy to be able to repay her by teaching her in sports.

"O, okay. Then please take care fo me."

"Leave it to me! Don't see me like this, I know how to swim well."

Seeing the two people talk when their positions have swapped is rather refreshing.

Normally in class, grade A Himeji-san would be teaching Minami who's of grade F—

"—So this time, Minami seems to be A and Himeji-san's F."

"I can at least make it to a B!"



"...Next year, next year...I'll definitely..."

Minami turns away as she mutters softly.

I don't know what's going on, but it seems like she's self-pitying when she just said that.

"A, Akihisa-kun...saying that directly in front of others is..."

Facing me, even Himeji-san's blushing. It's true that it's a bit disrespectful to say that she has class F standard of swimming, and it's really disrespectful to say if behind her back. I'll sincerely reflect on that.

"...Yuuji, I like to mention that I'm C."

"What are you talking about?"

Not far away, Yuuji and Kirishima-san are having an unbelievable conversation. As for Muttsulini, it's a mystery why his eyes are shining.

"Mizuki, I know the reason why you can't swim."

"Eh? Why?"

"Because you're in such a large float! You can't swim no matter how long it takes! Hurry up and take it off and give it to me!"

"Mi, Minami, please calm down! You're looking really scary here!"

"Mizuki doesn't understand anything at all! I'm so sad that I managed to swim so fast because I don't have any resistance!"

"Ev, even if you say that, I..."

Seems like they're talking about whether they can swim fast or not, and I better not disturb them.

"Then I'll go to another side. Try your best, both of you."

"A, Akihisa-kun, Minami's looking really scary out of a sudden!"

"Hohoho...Mizuki, these are all useless fats! You should exercise more and burn them off."

Minami seems like she's overly excited. Even though I'm sorry about Himeji-san who's asking me for help here, I have to be firm. This is for Himeji-san to learn how to swim.

"Mi, Minami, it's not really a bad thing! Shoulder aches are rather tiring..."

"I don't mind even if it's like that! Even if it's just a should ache, I will endure it!"

While I left, I heard the passionate voice in what Minami said.



Something rode on me out of a sudden, causing me to be unable to support myself and sink.

"Wh, what is it?"

"Hehehe, Hazuki wants to play with onii-chan!"

I could see Hazuki-chan's bright smile once I floated up to the surface. So that was Hazuki-chan who jumped on my back.

"Hm, okay, what shall we play?"

"Let's play 'water devil'?"

"Water devil? Are we playing catching in the water?"

I see, it's not much different from when we play on the land. Seems interesting.

"It's not catching, it's 'water devil'!"

"Is it different from catching?"

I thought that the 'water devil' will be about playing catching in the water.

"In 'water devil', when the person acting as the devil catches the person who isn't the devil, he will—"

Hazuki-chan looks up as she tells me how to play 'water devil'. However, it's about just what I guessed, once the person acting as the devil catches someone—

"—will drag the person into the water and wait for him to drown."


And even the 'game' aspect of it is gone. Elementary school kids nowadays are really wait, this may be a game Hazuki-chan made up herself.

"No way, Hazuki. This game is really dangerous."

"Hmmm...we can't play that?"

Hazuki-chan puffs her cheeks unhappily. Seems like as a big brother, I have to teach er how dangerous this 'water devil' game is.

"Listen, Hazuki-chan. This game is really dangerous. I'll show you—oi~ Kirishima-san~"

"...What is it?"

On hearing my call, Kirishima-san quickly swims over. She really can swim.

"I want to ask you and Yuuji to demonstrate the 'water devil' game to Hazuki-chan. The rules are simple, drag Yuuji into the water, make him drown, and then do CPR on him to win."

"...I'm going then."

After nodding slightly, Kirishima-san quickly swims away like a torpedo as she swims towards Yuuji.

"Oi? What's going on? What's wrong with my feet...GUAAHHH....WHO, WHO IS IT? WHO'S DRAGGING ME INTO THE WATE—(GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP)"

"...Yuuji, hurry up and drown."


Far away, the game of 'water devil' is under way.

"See, isn't that dangerous?"

"Yes...Hazuki won't play 'water devil' anymore..."

It's good that she understands. If we can teach her the importance of life, sacrificing one or two of Yuuji's life is nothing.




"Wah, the two onii-chans are swimming really fast!"

The 'water devil' game between me, Yuuji and Kirishima-san—START!

"Ah? I was wondering who was using the pool, so it's class rep?"

While Yuuji and I were risking our lives to play 'water devil', a somewhat familiar voice echoes throughout the poolside.


Kirishima-san stops as she turns to look over, and Yuuji and I stopped our deathmatch as well to look in the direction of where the voice came from.

Standing over there is a short-haired girl in uniform. Hm? I seem to have met her before somewhere.

"So it's class A's Kudou-san. What are you doing here?"

Yuuji calls out her name. Kudou-san? Ahh, speaking of which, she did face off against Muttsulini in the test summoning battle. We didn't get many chances to interact with each other, so I couldn't remember her name.

"Me? I'm from the swimming club."

"I see, but the swimming club doesn't need to practice today, right?"

"Yup, but I only remembered after I came to school. And then I heard some noise from the pool, so I thought I should come take a look. If you don't mind, can I join you?"

"Ahh, you can, it's not our pool anyway—"

Yuuji just points his finger at where Minami is.

"—And we seem to have one more person here for some reason."

Looking back at where Yuuji's is point, there seems to be a girl I don't recognize.

"Onee-sama! Why didn't you ask Miharu out to play at the pool!? Miharu loves onee-sama so much!!"

"Miharu!? Why are you here!? Nobody else should knows that I'm here to swim today!"

"Miharu already set up a special information network to prevent onee-sama from being attacked!"

Who's that girl? Seems like she's someone Minami knows of, but their relationship isn't good. Minami's even trying to swim away from that girl.

"Seems like it got noisy out of sudden."

Hideyoshi casually swims over to us. Behind him are Himeji-san and Hazuki-chan who'll tiptoe on the floor from time to time. Hazuki-chan is probably following Himeji-san's speed, and not that she can't swim.

"Ah? Yuuko—most probably not? Are you Yuuko's little brother?"

"Mm, that's right. Are you nee-san's friend?"

"That's right, I'm her classmate."

Hideyoshi has a twin sister who looks completely similar to him. The first time I saw her, I was really bothered by how both of them look too similar.

"Excuse me, but may I join in?"

"Hm? There's no need to be polite with me. This is the school's pool after all."

After Kudou-san finished, she carries her sports bag and heads towards the changing room.

After walking halfway, she turns her head around—

"If you want to peep, please don't get caught."

—And left these words.

Erm, let me think...does she mean that she's willing to let us peep? Since the girl herself said so, how can we as guys not take action—

"...Yuuji, if you dare move, I'll pinch you to death."

"Akihisa-kun, if you dare do any unnecessary things, you have to bear the consequences, you know?"

What's with this 'even an elephant can be killed' atmosphere? Now I can't just do whatever I want...since things ended up like this, there's no other way, I can only put all my hopes on Muttsulini!

"Oh yeah, where's Muttsulini? I haven't seen him up till now."

There's already the perfect environment, it's too weird for Muttsulini to not be around! Right now, I should be hearing the sound of the shutter being pressed rapidly!

"Muttsulini? Oh, he's over there replenishing his blood."

"...I see, no wonder he's so silent..."

Muttsulini doesn't even have the time to take photos. That figure of him desperately replenishing his own blood is too agonizing.

After playing for a while, Yuuji and I leave the pool to rest on the bench beside the pool. Of course, we naturally ended up looking at our friends who're playing in the pool.

"I say, Yuuji..."

What is it?"

PAM! The loud sound of the beachball hitting the surface can be heard.

"Maybe I'm thinking too much..."


BAM! And the forceful sound of the ball being hit can be heard.

"Those two...are supposed to be playing water volleyball. Why is the atmosphere around them so precarious?"

"Don't worry, I'm thinking the same thing as well."

"I won't lose, Minami-chan!"

"Just what I wanted, Mizuki! You can't beat me in sports!"

With spirit that looks like it's going to break the ball in half, Himeji-san and Minami continue to launch attacks at each other. They seem to be pretty friendly just now, and for some reason, it ended up like this.

"Oh yeah, Akihisa."

"Hm? What is it?"

"What about the movie ticket I gave you?"

He's talking about that right? Because I forced Yuuji and Kirishima-san to take part in the wedding experience, he specially gave me the movie ticket as a gift, right? I remember that thing is—

"Because Himeji-san and Minami seemed like they wanted it, I just gave it to them."

"...Can't be wrong now. That's the reason."

"Eh? What is it?"

"The loser will have to give it up. Don't forget!"

"I won't forget! If Minami-chan loses, she can't break the agreement!"

"You too!"

Ahh, they seem to have used something as a bet, which explains why they're so into this match. Forget about Minami, I'm shocked that even Himeji-san's so enthusiastic about it.

"Ahh...Himeji and Shimada...the match between them looks interesting. Which side has the advantage?"

Maybe Hideyoshi's tired as he left the pool and joins us on the bench. The sight of him scratching his head is ridiculously bewitching for some reason...

"Himeji has the advantage right now."

"Hm? I find this unexpected. If it's ball sports movement, Shimada's at the advantage."

"That may be so if it's a 1v1 match."

While saying that, Yuuji lifts his chin and points to their bases.

Himeji-san as Kirishima-san helping her, and beside Minami, the girl called Miharu (?) is chasing the ball around.

"I see. That Kirishima's sporting ability's rather good. She sure is impressive to be able to take on Shimada like that."

The difference in ability between Himeji-san and Minami is apparent, but the winner isn't decided by this. It's because Himeji-san's partner—Kirishima-san is really good. She skillfully hit the ball into places where Minami can't reach, allowing for easy points.

"Speaking of which, Shimada's partner isn't moving very naturally. I find that she's deliberately allowing them to win."

"Ah, so Hideyoshi feels the same way?"

On the other hand, Minami's partner been making mistakes one after another. The serves are all awry, and either she missed her receives or she smacked them out of bounce. Looking at her pose and movements, she should be rather skilled in that.

"Miharu! You must be letting them win, right!?"

"Of course not, onee-sama! Miharu is seriously (letting them win) playing! It's pointless to go on a date with that kind of thing at all!"

"So you deliberately became my partner just to make me lose..."

"Onee-sama! The ball's coming here!"

"Eh? Damn it! You should have said so earlier!"

Just as Minami's team is squabbling for some reason, the ball the Himeji-san served silently landed on Minami's side.

"Okay, it's 15 points now. First set goes to rep and Himeji-san's team!"

The referee Kudou-san raises her hand to declare the winning team of the first round.

"First round?"

"I guess it's a 3 set match. Can't probably be all the way till 5."

"That's the case."

Though it's a game, they're really serious about it, even remembering to change sides.

"Onee-chan, do your best!"

Hazuki-chan's innocently cheering for her older sister, almost forgetting that there's an ominous atmosphere here.

"And the 2nd set will now begin. The one serving this time is Shimada-san's side, right?"

Kudou tosses the ball at Minami, who picks up the ball and passes it to her partner.

"Ok, so the 2nd set begins now!"

"Ahh! My hand slipped!"

The moment Kudou-san said that, the beachball that was thrown into mid-air got tossed behind for some reason.

"Ok, Love 1."

Kudou-san picks up the ball that hit the wall and bounced back, and tosses it at Minami's side.

"If the partner is like that, Shimada won't have a chance of winning."

Yuuji said this as he sees the situation.

"Ya, no matter how good Minami is, she can't win on her own."

"According to how I see it, this match is decided."

Me and Hideyoshi agree with Yuuji's view. If Minami's partner can be a bit more focused, that won't be much of a problem. But it seems like she doesn't intend to win at all.

"Miharu! The next time you serve, do it with all you got!"

"Tha, that's too much, onee-sama! Miharu's doing her best for onee-sama, how can onee-sama suspect my hard work!?"

"No need to put up such a lousy act! Listen up Miharu! This is my final warning!"

"Please believe me, onee-sama! Miharu won't lie to onee-sama at all!"

"Listen up! I'll give my final ultimatum! If you still won't get serious—"

"That's why I say that Miharu's been serious in this."

"—From tomorrow onwards, I'll call Miharu 'Shimizu-san'."


"Oi, did you see that serve just now? That was a 12-6 curveball!"[2]

"I'm stunned. What in the world did she do for this high-difficulty technique!?"

"Even Shouko couldn't reach that ball..."

"Sorry onee-sama! Miharu lied to you!"

"Don't worry, Miharu! We'll continue to be best friends!"

Both of them hug each other tightly.

What's going on? For some reason, they seem to be having some sort of a drama skit.

"But seeing how things are doing, the situation has reversed."

"Ya. Though it's pitiful to say this, I say that Himeji isn't really good at sports."

Ah, another 1st strike. That partner of Minami is a whole lot different from before. Even her expression is full of killing intent.

"Sigh, Himeji's really pitiful. The rare chance got lost like that."

Beside me, Yuuji muttered to himself.

PA! At this moment, the sound of something bursting can be heard as it deafens the entire pool.

"Woah, that's a powerful hit. That girl actually burst the beachball."

"Eh? Was that the sound of the ball being burst?"

"Ya, the moment Shimada's partner served the ball, I saw the ball explode."

I turn to look at the pool. There seems to be what's left of the ball flowing on the water. What sort of power did that girl use to play...

"Ah! Sorry, Miharu seemed to have used too much force. I'll go find another ball; onee-sama and the rest, please rest first."

After saying that, the girl who's Minami's partner walks out of the pool. She's probably going to the pool store.

"...I'm a bit tired."

"You're right. Let's rest while she finds another ball."

The girls who were playing volleyball in the pool came up to rest. I warn myself not to be too attracted by their swimsuits as I ask Himeji-san,

"You people worked hard. Everyone was so serious, even we found that interesting."

"Ah, yes, thank you for your praise. I feel really happy to be able to play with everyone."

"Haha, that's good to hear."

Hearing her say this, at least our punishment from Ironman is worth it.

"Oh yeah. Why could Akihisa-kun borrow this pool?"

Himeji-san lowers her chin and asked. That's right, it seems like I never told her why.

"Well, a lot of things happened, so we're in charge of cleaning the pool. The benefit is that we get to use the pool for the entire day."

Of course, I can't just honestly tell her that Ironman punished us.

"Eh? You have to clean? The whole pool?"

"Yup. But it's not just me. Yuuji, Hideyoshi and Muttsulini will be helping as well."

Speaking of which, to be able to spend such a happy time together, cleaning the pool isn't much at all.

"Cleaning the pool? I'll help out as well."

Of course, Himeji-san naturally raises her hand. Such a good girl.

"Thanks, but as for cleaning, the four of us should be enough. And we only prepared four people's worth of cleaning tools."

I'm really grateful that you have such intentions, but leave the menial work of cleaning the pool to us.

And if I have to say it, it's thanks to you two that Muttsulini agreed to help. In other words, you two helped us quite a lot.


"Uu~it can't be helped that you don't have any cleaning equipment."

"Ah, I know! If that's the case..."

Himeji-san suddenly looks like she has a great idea. 'THOMP!', at that moment, Yuuji, Muttsulini, Hideyoshi and me all realize instinctively. Is she trying to...

"Because there was a slight failure, there's not enough for everyone to eat. I didn't want to say it—"

Himeji-san smiles sweetly as she says,

"—Actually, I made 3 chiffon cakes this morn..."

"ROUND ONE!!!" (Yuuji)


"FIGHT IT OUT, SWIMMING RACE!!!" (Yuuji and me)

""YEAH!!!"" (Hideyoshi and Muttsulini)

Before Himeji-san could complete her sentence, we shouted the code.

The girls seem like they couldn't catch up to the current developments as they all look shocked.

"Explain the rules, Akihisa!"

"OK! The rules are simple. Swim one lap in the pool. The first one to reach the end wins. It's a very ordinary swimming race!"

That's right. This is really an ordinary swimming race. It's basically about seeing who's the fastest.

However, the winner and everyone else have to face different outcomes. Why? Do you ask? That's because Himeji-san made 3 chiffon cakes, and there's only 4 of us. In other words, there can only be one person who'll remain alive. Whether it's 2nd or 3rd place, there's no difference in the disaster that awaits us.

"Baka onii-chan, what's with you? Hazuki is shocked that onii-chan suddenly wants a swimming race."

"Hazuki-chan, listen. Sometimes, men have to bet on something important."

"Wah~ onii-chan's so cool. You're betting on your pride, right?"

Nope, we're betting on our lives.

"I don't know what's going on, but a battle to see who's the fastest between 4 of you seems interesting."

"Ya, in terms of physique, Sakamoto-kun should be the best...."

"...But in terms of speed, Yoshii and Tsuchiya aren't too far apart."

We can hear them whispering to each other. To us, it doesn't matter who wins, the most important thing is whether we can safely live to see the next day.

"Heh~ seems interesting. I'll be your umpire then."

After Kudou-san said this, she stands up and moves towards the umpire's place at the end point. The school's pool is 25m long. In other words, this means that this is a 50m race.

With burning will, we get away. Yuuji's standing to my right, and Hideyoshi's on my left.

"Ok. We're about to start. Contestants ready—"

Kudou-san shouted loudly.

While getting into position, my mind starts to move.

Muttsulini's normally a strong opponent, but he's rather weak now because he lost a lot of blood, so he isn't much of a threat. Hideyoshi isn't weak, but in terms of athleticism, I won't lose to him.


There's only one person who can survive. Muttsulini's extremely weak now, so he won't pose much of a threat. I should be able to handle Hideyoshi as well. Thus, I only have one enemy—


""GO TO HELL!!!"

The moment Kudou-san shouted out, Yuuji and I exchange glances with each other leap fiercely at each other.

"Damn it, so Yuuji's thinking the same thing as me?"

He actually jumped at me instead of into the water. How evil is that guy!

"Aren't you doing such a despicable thing as well! You shameless bastard!"

"I can say the same to you!!"

I get into position again and jump at Yuuji.

Since the leap wasn't as effective as what I expected, I can only rely on my fists if I want to make Yuuji shut up! Both of us are wearing trunks, so neither judo nor akido can work. In this short distance, if I can control the platform, I can gain victory...

"Onee-chan, onii-chan wanted to have a race. Why aren't they jumping into the water?"

"Hazuki, you can't look at them. Idiocy can spread!"

I seem to hear such a disrespectful conversation.

"I say, you two, you can continue to fight all you want, but Kinoshita-san and Muttsulini-san are almost back!"

Matching Yuuji's movements, I intended to launch my killer blow, but the referee just said something really unsatisfying.

"Oi, Akihisa! Muttsulini and Hideyoshi seem to be coming back already!"

"Ya! Now's not the time to fight with Yuuji."

For some reason, I got engrossed in my fight with Yuuji. Let me see, Hideyoshi and Muttsulini are— WAH! WHY ARE THEY ONLY 20M AWAY!

"Yuuji! We'll lose if this keeps up!"

"How can we allow them to do what they want! I'll stop Muttsulini! Akihisa, stop Hideyoshi!"

"Got it! Let's have a ceasefire for now!"

Yuuji and I jump into Muttsulini and Hideyoshi's lanes respectively. Since it ended up like this, even if I have to use despicable moves, I have to stop you from reaching the end point!

I frantically swim towards the halfway mark, and I see Hideyoshi swimming back at me. No matter what, I have to stop you here!

"Wha, what going on, Akihisa? Your lane should be the other one, right?"

"No way, Hideyoshi! I won't let you get past me here!"

My limbs tangle up Hideyoshi, who intends to swim past me. Uu! It's not easy to hold down someone in the water...

"Akihisa, let go of me!"

Hideyoshi continue to struggle as he moves forward. Damn it, I can't hold him up for long!


Even so, I continue to hold onto Hideyoshi. No matter what, if there's any part that I can grab—


Suddenly, the thing I'm grabbing onto loses all resistance.

"...What's going on?"

I stood up straight in the water and confirm the thing that's left in my hand. What's this? This looks like something really important.

"Ah, Akihisa-kun! What are you doing!?"


"That thing! That thing in your hand!"

Himeji-san turns pale as she points at my hand.

This is, this—

"Ahhahahm this looks somewhat similar to Hideyoshi's swimwear."

"Humm? Why do I feel that it's chilly in front of my chest..."

Seemingly realizing that something's wrong, Hideyoshi stood up from the water.

Seeing Hideyoshi like this, I seem to realize something fatal. That's strange, I seem to have seen a large piece of naked back? Did I—JUST PULL DOWN HIDEYOSHI'S VEST? [6][7]"...Even if I die, I have no regrets!"

On the other lane, I seem to hear Muttsulini mutter this.

A while later, the water's dyed red.

"Eh? Is this Hideyoshi's swimsuit? Soo, soo, soo, sooorryy! I swear to god that I never saw anything!"

"Hold on a minute, Akihisa! I'm a guy! Why are you panicking?"

"Woah! Muttsulini! Are you alright!? This amount of blood loss isn't good!"

"...It doesn't matter, this is my one hope..."

"Aahhh!! Muttsulini isn't doing well now! His nosebleed is ever violent now!"

"Ki, Kinoshita! Cover your chest first! Tsuchiya's blood won't stop flowing!"

"Uuu, I don't want! I'm a guy! Why must I cover my chest!"

"Kinoshita-kun! Now's not the time to be so stubborn! Tsuchiya-kun will really die if this keeps up!"

"...Aiko, can you call an ambulance?"

"Okay~ class F people are really interesting."

"Baka onii-chan and company are always so happy. Hazuki's really envious!"

"Onee-sama, I love you..."

In the end, though Muttsulini was on the verge of death, with the emergency help of us and the paramedics, we finally managed to save his life.

It's another Monday morning.

"...Yoshii, Sakamoto. I got something I want to ask you about."

Without even greeting us this moment, Ironman called us out with a blow voice.

"I refuse."

"I have the right to remain silent."

Facing Ironman, both Yuuji and me show a pose of refusal.

On getting this response, Ironman trembles violently.


Finally managing to say these words, Ironman suddenly inhales deeply.


The loud bellowing voice of Ironman seem to rumble the entire classroom.







After a moment of resistance, it's all futile. In the end, Yuuji and I got caught.

While we're being beaten up, we roughly explain the event over again. Ironman sighs reluctantly—

"...It seems like Kinoshita can't bathe together with everyone else the next time when we have our training camp. Got to let him have his own personal bathroom..."

Ironman muttered.